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She came so close to me that I could feel her heartbeat and she could feel mine. I lost control and took my head down to touch her lips. She also didn’t move.So I licked her lips and kissed her for 2 minutes. She was shocked but didn’t move. She neither opened her mouth nor lips and went to the room. I was so frightened because if she told this to family, I was dead. Immediately I replied sorry, but she didn’t reply and slept.Next day she didn’t tell anything in the family about the kiss. I was relieved. Again at night I messaged sorry and started chatting. She forgave me and told to never do again like this. But now I was mad about her and again asked her to hug me. She agreed to hug me only for last time and came to the hall.As soon as she hugged me, I lost my control again. I kissed her like never before. But she didn’t resist me, she thought this would be the last kiss and went after the kiss. I again messaged her sorry. She replied it’s okay, now this should be stopped. I also. How she would laugh if she learned how I threw myself, oblivious, at a much older gay man. I grimace at the thought of it, and try to think about something else... like why Rodrik was being so secretive? Sexuality has been no barrier to social acceptance for a hundred years, and no barrier for military service for eighty. What was it about what he was doing that had to be kept secret? I wish I'd done more than just pretend to pay attention when Rodrik was telling me all about those boring military rules and regulations...My mind keeps drifting back to that scene in the sensor room: Rodrik's thick weapon in that young sailor's mouth. A tingle runs down my spine, between my legs, and a very wicked thought blossoms in my mind.I shouldn't. I could be caught. Someone could come through that door any minute and tell me it's all over.That thought sends another shiver down my spine. What if Rodrik caught me? What would he say? What would he do?My mind is made up. Rodrik did the harness up.
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